Helping kids understand wants, needs, and emotional spending.
Kids don’t spend emotionally because they’re careless with money. They do it because money is often tied to feelings long before it’s tied to logic. Excitement, boredom, comparison, stress, wanting to fit in. Spending promises a quick fix and, honestly, this is just as true for adults.
Raising financially confident children isn’t about stopping emotional spending altogether. It’s about helping kids recognise it when it's happening and understand what to do next.
Kids are still developing impulse control and emotional regulation. Their brains prioritise how something feels now over how it affects them later.
Money can be a shortcut for:
This makes emotional spending a normal part of learning and something a little guidance can help them navigate.
Ages 7-10
Kids think in the moment. If something looks fun or feels unfair, it can quickly turn into “I need this”. They can struggle to understand trade-offs and limits, even when they know money doesn’t last forever.
What helps
Ages 11-14
Around this age, spending becomes more social and what they buy affects how they feel they’re seen. A flat refusal can feel personal, even when it isn’t.
What helps
Ages 15-18
Teen spending is often more about independence and identity. They may fully understand that something is a want and still feel the pull strongly.
What helps:
Simply labelling purchases as “wants” or “needs” can shut down the conversation before it even starts. Instead, involve your child in exploring their choices by using three simple categories:
| Needs | Wants | Nice to haves |
|
Things required for everyday life and wellbeing |
Things that make life more enjoyable but aren’t essential |
Things driven mainly by mood, timing, or social pressure |
When money comes up, simply ask:
Not to talk them out of a purchase, but to help them notice the connection between their feelings and their spending. By reflecting on what’s driving the choice, they start to understand their habits and can make more intentional decisions in the future.
You may hear answers like:
Once the feeling is named, the sense of urgency often drops. That brief pause creates space for reflection, giving kids a chance to consider their options instead of acting on impulse.
Impulse spending thrives on speed. Decisions made in the heat of the moment rarely consider long-term consequences. Teaching kids to pause gives them a chance to slow down, notice what they’re feeling, and think about whether a purchase is really necessary.
A simple guide:
During the pause, encourage your child to reflect with questions like:
Most emotional purchases don’t survive the pause. The ones that do tend to be more thoughtful and deliberate, helping children learn to spend with intention.
Spending limits work best when they’re predictable and clearly explained upfront. They’re not meant to catch kids out, but they exist to help them become aware of their choices and the impact of those choices.
When a limit is reached, treat it as a chance to reflect rather than a moment of frustration. Look together at what the money was spent on: What felt worth it? What didn’t? What might they do differently next time?
Over time, this approach builds cause-and-effect thinking around money. It teaches children to make deliberate choices, something that lectures alone rarely accomplish.
The goal isn’t to raise kids who never want anything. That wouldn’t be realistic or helpful. It’s about helping them:
These skills aren’t just for pocket money. They're skills kids carry into adulthood, shaping how people manage pay rises, credit, debt, social pressure, and impulse spending.
When kids learn early that money is both emotional and practical, they start making intentional choices instead of chasing feelings.